My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
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is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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