We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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