All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
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Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
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when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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