Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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