The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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