the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
please don't ironically join a cult
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