seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I want to be your penis for a week.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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