This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
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Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
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Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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