I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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