They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
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My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
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As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize