cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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