i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
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come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You need a sexual gate keeper
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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