no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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