I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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