she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
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You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
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So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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