So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize