I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
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oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i dont even know how to be here
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
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There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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