the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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