Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize