its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize