mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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