Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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