i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize