i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize