I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
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Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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