Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
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Hippo gnu deer
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
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I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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