Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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