spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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