11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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