Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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