So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
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I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
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I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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