But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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