so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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