Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
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yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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