Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
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its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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