The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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