I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
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It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
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Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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