Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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