There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
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I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
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I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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