There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize