We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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