I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize