i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
it hurts more in the daytime
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Randomize