Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize