you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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