are you so shy because you have an std?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
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his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
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You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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