Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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