Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
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Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
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Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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