i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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