You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
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do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
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And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
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